Confidence

I am confident and self-assured.

That's a mantra I've been using recently. After all the drama and negativity of the last year, I felt like I had lost confidence in myself, and starting a business while not fully assured of myself had me questioning not just my abilities, but my sanity!

But the truth is I am very confident in my brand and my business. I know that this idea is fucking fantastic and it's the path I'm supposed to be on. It's a great idea, I'm a talented designer and seamstress, I am skilled at managing and teaching people, and I know that I will be good at running a business. I have no doubts about any of those statements. They are facts. I am so sure of myself in this.

Confidence is a tricky quality. Too much and you're considered arrogant or narcissistic. Too little and you're seen as weak or timid. It's a very fine line to navigate.

The other truth is: I've always been self-assured, but I've typically always acted otherwise. I don't know if that's some deeply ingrained people-pleasing, gender-normative habit, or some imposter syndrome bullshit, or if it was based on a fear of being perceived as arrogant and proving some sort of negative redhead stereotype. Whatever the reason, I know I have a tendency to hide my confidence, which has actually led me to losing it on occasion.

So I'm working on both gaining it back and making sure I'm showing it off. Even if I come across as arrogant, even if people call me a fiery redhead stereotype, even if I have to keep repeating mantra as my reminder, I'm done being weak and timid. I'm owning who I am, and I'm very proud of that person. She's pretty fucking awesome.